I think i peed on brittanys purse
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
BRING THE BAGELS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
