I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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