Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
