when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize