I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
