If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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