Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
only you would photoshop your dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
