TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
