Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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