he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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