Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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