I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
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I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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