Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
