Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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