so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
