Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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