I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize