You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
