Define "chronic" masturbator.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i've created a new STD.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
