remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
