ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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