If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
