He asked me if I "almost moaned"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
