Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
