I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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