Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
