I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize