im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
