your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
