I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
