butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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