I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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