And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thus making me awesome and them whores
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
