So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
