What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
