Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
