508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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