Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
