Cold hands, warm shart.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
high people should be assigned attendants
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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