I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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