He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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