South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
