"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
im on a boat
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