So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
