I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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