Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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