she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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