More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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