i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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