She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
