Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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