I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
