At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
