Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
