I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize