My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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