Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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