the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
