these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
