fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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